my mom is dead

she can't fard

So guys i saw the among us impostor today so you see i was at target, you know, my favorite ever mm yes target is so good it has so many good deals it is excellent target is like drinking pure ecstasy from the fountain of youth like i honestly want target to father my children anyways a bit off-topic lol so you see i was at target looking at the excellent deals (god bless, target, excellent deals) when someone in a large, bouncy inflatable sus imposter costume came up, jiggling like anime boobs, and looked me in the eye so close that i wanted to kiss it lol imposter is so sexy anyways yeah so it did that then said "bussy saka" and jigglewaddled away and my life was forever changed like "what makes you say that" and "how did you see me vent" and "cams were off" so i really think sus red was imposter for real guys so yeah i think i saw sus imposter at target oh yes target is sexy target is beautiful target as excellent deals and so does imposter anyway this copypasta is sponsored by raid shadow legends use code "targetimposter" to get the free epic rank crewmate hero

What the f**k did you just f**king say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f**k out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f**king words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, f**ker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f**king dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f**king tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you go***mn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f**king dead, kiddo.

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pi