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PoliticallyIncorrectMedia (599963)
Joined 2019-04-02
Cancelling the Cancel Culture is our goal, annoying liberals is our passion.
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Things you can shove up your ass in politics
5 ups, 1m
Walking into a Restaurant:

Hello.

Hi, table for two, please.

Sure, and your name?

Chuck.

Great. And do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?

We do....Can you tell us who our server will be?

Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.

Great. Can you show us Brad's vaccination card?
Um...

And also, can you provide me with proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?

Um...

Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide us with Brad's most recent tox screen, that would be great. Oh, and for your Chef as well.

Um... Let me get the manager for you.

That would be great, thanks!

Things you can shove up your ass
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Ever Notice How the ASSHOLE is Always in Charge? in fun
0 ups, 1m
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was to be the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain,

"Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,

"Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs

"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes,

"Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum,

"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum

and insulted him,

so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days,

the brain had a terrible headache,

the stomach was bloated,

the legs got wobbly,

the eyes got watery,

and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the Story?

Even though the others do all the work...
The ass hole is usually in charge.
How to Deal With Ivermectin Karens and Other Nosey People in politics
2 ups, 1m
How to Deal With Ivermectin Karens and Other Nosey People

aka; The Purina Diet Revisited

I was in the checkout line at my local grocery store one day with a 50 pound bag of dog chow in my cart when the nosey lady behind me said, "Oh, I see you're a dog lover." I replied, "No, I'm not." She replied with, "If you're not a dog lover, why on earth would you be buying dog food?"

I proceeded to explain to her that I was going to go back on the Purina diet again.

Her response was, " The Purina diet? What on earth is that?" I replied, "It's a great diet. All you need to do is fill your pockets with Kibbles & Bits and whenever you get hungry you just grab a handful and toss them in your mouth." She replied, you've got to be kidding!?"

I replied, "Why not, it's 100% nutritionally complete, and it helps you lose weight. The last time I went on it, I lost over 50 pounds. I probably would have lost even more if I hadn't gone into the hospital."

She replied, "Oh, the dog food made you sick, go figure?" I replied, "Absolutely not!" to which she replied, "Then why did you go into the hospital?"

I replied, "I was sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls when I got hit by a cement truck!"

The look on her face was PRICELESS!
WINNING! California Liberals Triggered. in politics
3 ups, 2m
Better yet, pay a homeless person $25 and tell him to go pinch a loaf on Governor Newsom's front doorstep.
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