Great. And do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?
We do....Can you tell us who our server will be?
Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.
Great. Can you show us Brad's vaccination card?
And also, can you provide me with proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?
Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide us with Brad's most recent tox screen, that would be great. Oh, and for your Chef as well.
How to Deal With Ivermectin Karens and Other Nosey People
aka; The Purina Diet Revisited
I was in the checkout line at my local grocery store one day with a 50 pound bag of dog chow in my cart when the nosey lady behind me said, "Oh, I see you're a dog lover." I replied, "No, I'm not." She replied with, "If you're not a dog lover, why on earth would you be buying dog food?"
I proceeded to explain to her that I was going to go back on the Purina diet again.
Her response was, " The Purina diet? What on earth is that?" I replied, "It's a great diet. All you need to do is fill your pockets with Kibbles & Bits and whenever you get hungry you just grab a handful and toss them in your mouth." She replied, you've got to be kidding!?"
I replied, "Why not, it's 100% nutritionally complete, and it helps you lose weight. The last time I went on it, I lost over 50 pounds. I probably would have lost even more if I hadn't gone into the hospital."
She replied, "Oh, the dog food made you sick, go figure?" I replied, "Absolutely not!" to which she replied, "Then why did you go into the hospital?"
I replied, "I was sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls when I got hit by a cement truck!"